[it's humiliating; she's worked very, very hard all these years to build up a resistance to tears -- tears that others can see or take advantage of -- and yet they spilled so freely and without provocation before she could even feel it happen.
sleeping grief is a trait from the elvish part of her heritage, one designed for creatures that live far longer than most in order that they may bear the weight of long memories without utterly ruining their hearts with it. it's how the long-lived races of her land could handle rapid changes, devastation, love and loss...because they still feel the pain as any mortal can, even though their bodies force them to go on. instead of becoming hollowed out shells, however, their grief is buried and gradually vented in ways much less harmful to them: they can weep so beautifully without feeling the full effect of sorrow on their bodies; it makes their songs take on more emotive states than that of other races.
she's only half an elf, so that blessing isn't hers to grasp, even though she's found herself living many times over her natural lifespan thanks to planeswalking. it means carrying all the hurts and loss as any mortal would, and it's exhausting.
her only solace now is that she isn't able to let some injuries fully set and heal over to make tearing them open worse; it's still raw in regard to Darin and the people she loved so much as a girl in that other world.
worse, though, is how it feels to have the warmth of his hand over hers as he speaks so damn earnestly for her sake, full well knowing that despite that:] You're not...mine to have, Darin. You never were.
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sleeping grief is a trait from the elvish part of her heritage, one designed for creatures that live far longer than most in order that they may bear the weight of long memories without utterly ruining their hearts with it. it's how the long-lived races of her land could handle rapid changes, devastation, love and loss...because they still feel the pain as any mortal can, even though their bodies force them to go on. instead of becoming hollowed out shells, however, their grief is buried and gradually vented in ways much less harmful to them: they can weep so beautifully without feeling the full effect of sorrow on their bodies; it makes their songs take on more emotive states than that of other races.
she's only half an elf, so that blessing isn't hers to grasp, even though she's found herself living many times over her natural lifespan thanks to planeswalking. it means carrying all the hurts and loss as any mortal would, and it's exhausting.
her only solace now is that she isn't able to let some injuries fully set and heal over to make tearing them open worse; it's still raw in regard to Darin and the people she loved so much as a girl in that other world.
worse, though, is how it feels to have the warmth of his hand over hers as he speaks so damn earnestly for her sake, full well knowing that despite that:] You're not...mine to have, Darin. You never were.